Crossroads

For the past few days, I've been feeling a little bit down and lost. I am not entirely sure about what though. I guess I just felt like I needed to know what I was sent here for. Since I have SO much free time on my hands, I'm always thinking about something and yesterday I freaked out. There I was, high from the caffeine, with two of my closest friends listening, when I just opened myself a little bit. Naturally, they thought I was being a lunatic and told me to get a job. I did not refuse politely (hahahaha sorry guys) but hear me out! I am not passionate about anything. At all. And I want to be passionate about something, anything!! And then there were also talks about my morals and beliefs in life.. Man, the list just went on and on.. We were literally screaming at Starbucks and the good soppy music playing in the background DID NOT HELP AT ALL. Emo sial. 

In a way, I feel calmer today at this moment because I managed to let it out and free myself from being too consumed. But I am still in the same spot. I need to move and not be crazy anymore. I need inspiration. 

To add to my misery, he left exactly two months ago. CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE MAKE ME FEEL BETTER ABOUT LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS? Because they suck. There is nothing good or fun about long distance relationships. We will be hitting 25 months the day after tomorrow. All I want from him is to just promise me that he won't stop fighting for us and always try his best. That we're okay and happy and he's always going to be there to layan my nonsense. Honestly, he does not have a clue how much I miss him. I try to avoid telling him any of this because I know he's there to achieve his dreams and etc, so I think it would be selfish of me to pile all these feelings. I guess I myself have to tough it out and be strong. Hopefully, I'll be able to see him in two months ++. Please pray for my luck!!